Business as Usual
Well, well, well. Look who comes crawling back. If it isn't Misplaced Planet.
Look at yourself. Dragging your sorry butt back onto the internet, making all kinds of noise, waking everybody up, and well after midnight, too. Drop the other shoe, Misplaced Planet. Drop the other shoe, so we can all go back to sleep.
Do you own a watch? Do you know how to use a phone? Can you make a steam boat from a deck of cards? We been asleep for hours! How else could we stand the boredom?
You better be sorry, Misplaced Planet! That goes without saying!
Well, at least you got the good sense to bring back some presents with you. Let me see what you got. Hold on now. Hold the phone. That ain't a whole new website, is it? Brand new, top to bottom? And a brand new short film? My my, that ain't Business as Usual, now is it!?
Gosh.
Now I just don't know what to think.
Cause, you know, you been gone a long time. You left us sitting here, alone, watching reality television, eating whip cream with a rubber spatula. You been gone so long, we thought maybe you found some younger, prettier internet. One with more porn. One who liked it in the LOLCat.
But now you walk in here, flashing that new website of yours, and you remind me of all them movies that made me love you in the first place, and now you say, all this time I been wondering if you was in a ditch somewhere, dying from some egg you ate out of a dumpster, all this time, you was writing, and filming, and editing, and learning SCUBA? All for me? And then you go and make me laugh, don't you? Well! Lord above. I don't know what to think anymore.
Just don't know what to think.
Awww, hell, Misplaced Planet. Get on over here and lemme fuck you some.
You know, just to welcome you back.